प्रवासी नेपाली र उनीहरूको भविष्य!

‘बिहान उठ्ने बित्तिकै हिमाल देख्न पाइयोस्’ भन्ने पङ्क्ति अधिकांश प्रवासी नेपालीका लागि ‘बिहान उठ्ने बित्तिकै नेपाली नेतालाई गाली गर्न पाइयोस्’ हुने गरेको छ।

यो प्रवृत्ति निरन्तर जारी मात्र होइन, झन्झन् उग्र हुँदो देखिन्छ।

प्रवासी नेपालीले आफू बसाइ सरेको देशमा त्यो देशको हितका लागि र नेपाली मूलको भएको नाताले नेपाली समुदायको सामूहिक उत्थानका लागि के चाहिँ योगदान गरेको भएर नेपाली नेताहरूलाई त्यति बिघ्न तीतो बोली लगाएका होलान्?

प्रवासमा बसी माथिको प्रवृत्ति प्रवर्द्धन गर्ने कुकर्ममा आफू स्वयम् पनि सहभागी हुने गरेकोमा आफैसँग बढो खेद छ मेरो। आजभोलि अलि सुध्रिने प्रयासमा छु। नानीदेखि लागेको बानी सुधार्न गाह्रो हुने रहेछ। निरन्तर कोसिस जारी छ।

विदेशमा स्थायी रूपले बसाइसराई गरिसक्नु भएका नेपाली मूलका नागरिकहरूले आफ्नो र आगामी पुस्ताको आत्मसम्मान तथा उज्ज्वल भविष्य सुनिश्चित गर्ने हो भने आफू बस्दै गरेको देश स्थानमा आजका र आउँदा दिनमा हाम्रो आफ्नो के कस्तो जिम्मेवारी र उत्तरदायित्व रहन सक्छ तथा व्यक्तिगत र सामूहिक रूपमा आफ्नो भूमिका के कस्तो हुनुपर्छ भन्नेबारे यस लेखमार्फत केही विचार राख्ने प्रयास गरेको छु।

विगत

‘दि गुर्खा वेलफेर ट्रस्ट’को वेबसाइटका अनुसार आजको २१० वर्षअघि बेलायती सेनामा गुर्खा सैनिकहरू प्रवेश गर्नुभएको हो। दुई शताब्दीको सेवाका बाबजुद हाम्रा गुर्खा सैनिक र आफ्नो ज्यानसहितको योगदानको कदरको सम्मानको वहाँहरूको लडाइँका लागि सन् २००८ मा बेलायतकै नागरिक जोआना लुम्ली र वहाँ जस्तै गैर नेपालीले बोलिदिनुपर्‍यो।

त्यो हक अधिकारको लडाइँका बेला हाम्रा गुर्खा सैनिक र वहाँहरूको परिवार तथा नेपालीहरूको मात्रै आवाज बेलायतका लागि त्यति बुलन्द हुन सकेन। यदि बेलायती संसदमा नेपाली मूलका एक मात्र सांसद हुँदो हो र त्यस स्तरमा प्रभावकारी भूमिका हुँदो हो त हाम्रा गुर्खा सैनिक र वहाँहरूको परिवारजनले आफ्नो पाउनु पर्ने हक अधिकारको लडाइँका लागि दुई शताब्दीपछि पनि सन् २००८ ताका त्यो प्रकारको सङ्घर्ष गर्नुपर्दैन थियो भन्ने मेरो व्यक्तिगत निर्क्योल हो।

तर हामी बेलायती संसदमा छैनौँ। कुनै पनि देशमा छैनौँ। संसद र अन्य उच्च तहमा पुग्नेबारे हाम्रो ध्यान गएकै छैन। कहिलेकाहीँ लाग्छ हामी कता छौँ? के गर्दै हरदम व्यस्त र कुदाकुद होला यस्तो विधि? जहिले जो पनि बिजी!

हाम्रा प्रवासीहरूको ध्यान, प्रयास र काम गराई न त त्यतातिर वा अरू त्यस्तै प्रभावशाली निर्णय स्तरमा पुग्न प्रयास गर्ने प्रवृत्तिको देखिन्छ। कमसेकम नेपाली मूलको लाखौँ जनसङ्ख्या पुगिसकेका देशहरूमा उच्च तहमा हाम्रो प्रतिनिधित्व हुन अब आवश्यक भइसकेको छ। निर्णय टेबलमा हुनु हुन्न भने तपाईं अस्तित्वविहीन सरह हुनु हुनेछ।

‘इफ यु आर नट एट दि टेबल, यु आर नट अन दि मेन्यु।’ संसदसम्म पुग्ने, त्यहाँ र त्यस्तै उच्च तहमा रहेर गौरवान्वित भई तर्क वितर्क गर्ने हाम्रो महत्त्वाकांक्षा र सामर्थ्य छ?

हालसम्म त्यस्तो भए जस्तो देखिँदैन।

उच्चतम तहसम्म पुग्ने पुर्‍याउने महत्त्वाकांक्षा बोक्ने र सामर्थ्य निर्माण गर्ने बेला अब भएको छ। नेपाली भन्दै सधैँ गर्व गर्ने तर लगभग अस्तित्वविहीन, अदृश्य र लाचार नै रहिरहने हो भने यो लेख यहाँभन्दा अगाडि पढ्न रोकिदिए हुन्छ।

वर्तमान

विदेशी भूमि हाम्रो आफ्नो कर्मभूमि मात्र नभई अब दत्तक घर (एडप्टेड होम) भइसकेको छ। हेक्का राखौँ, जन्मेको उता नेपालमा भए पनि हामी मर्ने यतै प्रवासमा हो अब। हाम्रा यता जन्मेका सन्ततिको हकमा हामी हालमा बस्दै गरेको प्रवास नै वहाँहरूको घर हो।

प्रवासी भूमिमा शिर ठाडो गरी जिउने हो भने हामीले अब सम्मान आर्जन गर्न लायक काम कारबाहीतिर ध्यान दिनुपर्छ। कर्म भूमिबाट लिने मात्र होइन, योगदान गर्ने बारे सोच्नुपर्छ। नेपालमा रेमिटेन्स पठाउनेतिर मात्र जोड हैन, आफ्नो र आउँदो पुस्ताले भविष्यमा टेक्ने धरातल अवस्थित देशका लागि केही गर्नुपर्छ भन्ने विचार राख्नुपर्छ।

देशका अरू भागबाट काठमाडौँ बसाइसराई गरेका नेपालीलाई वहाँहरूको काठमाडौँप्रति लगाव छैन, काठमाडौँलाई बुझ्दैनन् भन्ने हामी नै होइनौँ? भेद आन्तरिक र अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय तहको बसाइसराइको मात्रै हो। आजका दिनमा अपवादबाहेक प्रवासी नेपालीलाई हामी बसोबास गर्दै गरेको देशका नागरिकहरूले ‘यहाँले यो देशका लागि के योगदान गर्नुभयो?’ भन्ने प्रश्न गरे भने त्यसको गतिलो जवाफ हामीसँग छैन। मैले अक्सर सुन्ने गरेको जवाफ चाहिँ ‘कर तिर्छु’ भन्ने हो।

जन्मभूमि नेपाल भएकाहरू हाम्रो नेपालसँग भावनात्मक सम्बन्ध र बलियो लगाव हुनु स्वाभाविक हो। त्यो हुनु हुन्न अथवा गलत हो भन्न खोजेको हैन। दशकौँ बसिसकेको, आफ्नो जवानी र ऊर्जादान गरेको देशमा चाहिँ लगाव हुनुपर्ने कि नपर्ने? अवकाशपछि जुन देशले पेन्सन दिन्छ त्यो देशप्रति हाम्रो नजरिया कस्तो छ?

अलिकति कुरा प्रवासी नेपालीले नेपालका लागि चाहिँ के–के गरे भन्नेबारे पनि गरिहालौँ। अपवाद र केही व्यक्तिगत पहल छोडेर सामूहिक प्रयास नगण्य मात्रै हो। कुरा चाहिँ अक्सर ठुलठुलै हुने गर्छ। हुनुपर्ने, गर्नुपर्ने इत्यादि। तर आफूले हैन, अरू कसैले गर्नुपर्छ। वास्तवमै के चाहिँ योगदान रह्यो त? त्यसको खासै चित्तबुझ्दो उत्तर पाउन अलि गाह्रै छ।

आपतविपद् पर्दा यसो अलि चन्दा दियो, बस् भई गो त! परोपकार कर्मका लागि एक डलर माग्दा १०० डलर बराबरको अर्ति उपदेश खेप्नु पर्ने अवस्थासम्मको अनुभव रह्यो। कसैले केही राम्रो काम गरे, गर्न खोजे शंका उपशंका मात्र होइन खुट्टै तानेको पनि हेर्न पाइयो। विडम्बना नै भन्नुपर्ला।

भविष्य

माथि गनथन गरेझैँ वर्तमान अवस्थामै रमाउने हो भने कुरै सकियो। प्रवासमा सधैँ परदेशी नै रहिरहने हो भने अहिले जे गर्दै छौँ त्यही निरन्तर जारी गरे भयो। हैन अलि शिर ठाडो गर्ने जमर्को गरौँ भन्ने हो भने हल्का–फुल्का मात्र हैन, सोचाइमा व्यापक परिवर्तनको आवश्यकता देख्छु म। महान् छलाङ भन्न सकिन्छ होला सायद।

सकिन्छ क्षमता र आँट छ, आफैँ अघि सर्ने हो। हैन छैन, जसले सक्छन् तिनलाई हौसला दिनुपर्छ। यो अघि सराइ हाम्रो आफ्नै बलबुता, प्रतिभा र क्षमताका आधारमा हुनुपर्छ। न कि कसैको निगाह वा मायामा परनिर्भर।

तर उच्च स्थान पुग्ने सपना देख्नुअघि भने आफ्नै घर समाजभित्र गर्नुपर्ने थुप्रै सुकर्म थाँती छन्। पहिलो र प्राथमिक, दायरा अलि फराकिलो पार्नुपर्‍यो। नेपाली–नेपाली आफू आफैबिचको साँघुरो वृत्तभन्दा बाहिरको फराकिलो समाज–संसार पनि चाहर्नुपर्‍यो। हैन काममा त मेरो बहु सांस्कृतिक साथी छन् भन्नु होला फेरि। आराम क्षेत्रबाट बाहिर आउने प्रयास गर्नुपर्‍यो।

हाम्रो आफ्नो व्यक्तिगत र सामूहिक भूमिका र उत्तरदायित्वको समीक्षा गर्नुपर्‍यो। लिने मात्र हैन, दिन पनि उत्तिकै अग्रसर हुनुपर्‍यो। जोन एफ केनेडीले भन्नु भएझैँ आफू बस्दै गरेको देशलाई के गर्न सक्छु भनेर पनि सोच्नुपर्‍यो।

सरसर्ती हेर्नुभयो भने आजका दिनमा केही नेपालीले प्रवासमा राम्रै नाम र दाम कमाएका छन्। तर त्यो व्यक्तिगत सफलता हो। सामूहिक रूपमा हाम्रो हैसियत अझै एक अति–गरिब मुलुकका प्रवासी समुदाय हो। सगरमाथा र बुद्धको देशका जनता हौँ, हाम्रो लागि आफ्नो पहिचान। यिनै थोत्रा झोला भिरी बस्ने? नयाँ मुलुकमा नयाँ पहिचान बनाउनेतिर किन नसोच्ने?

अब अलि कुरा विदेशी नागरिकता ग्रहण गर्नेहरूको बारे। नागरिकता समारोहमा मुटुमाथि हात राखी त्यो देशको राष्ट्रिय गान र राष्ट्र प्रमुखका सामु गर्नुभएको शपथ समारोह स्थलबाट बाहिर निस्केपछि पनि नबिर्सौँ। शपथको मर्म र धर्म सम्झौँ। जन्मभूमिको मात्रै तिर्सना होइन, कर्मभूमिप्रति पनि कृतघ्य र उत्तरदायी हुनुपर्‍यो।

व्यक्तिगत स्वार्थभन्दा अलि माथि उठ्नुपर्‍यो। आफूलाई बिर्सी अरूको सेवा गरौँ भनेको हैन। आफ्नो जमर्को गर्ने जिम्मेवारी हाम्रो आफ्नै हो। व्यक्तिगत प्रगतिसँगै आफू बस्दै गरेको समाजको हितका बारे पनि मनन गरौँ भन्ने भाव हो।

जाँदा जाँदै

कहिले कुनै साम्राज्यका अघि शिर झुकाउन नपरेको गर्व गर्ने हो भने अब हामीले प्रवासमा आफ्नो शिर ठाडो हुने कर्म गर्नै पर्छ। नत्र इतिहासमै र गफैमा सीमित रहन्छ हाम्रो गर्व।

विगत हिजोको कुरा भयो। त्यो सकियो। त्यता रुमल्लिएर हात लाग्ने केही हैन। विगतबाट सिक्ने हो। अनि त्यसको आधारमा वर्तमानमा कर्म गर्ने हो। हाम्रो भोलि कस्तो हुन्छ, त्यो धेरै हदसम्म हाम्रो आजको कर्ममा निर्भर हुन्छ।

हाम्रो आफ्नो भविष्य निर्माण गर्ने जिम्मेवारी हाम्रो आफ्नै हो। लगाव भए आउँदा दिन हाम्रो हितमा नहुने भन्ने प्रश्नै छैन। त्यसको निर्माण भने आजैबाट थाल्नुपर्छ अब हामीले।

हालको हाम्रो अवस्थाबाट भोलिका दिनमा माथि उल्लेख गरिएको गर्व गर्न लायक शानको मार्गमा लाग्ने हो भने हामीले अहिलेको ढर्रा र पारा त्याग्नै पर्छ। नौलो नवीनतम सोच राख्ने, व्यक्तिगत स्वार्थबाट माथि उठ्ने, फराकिलो दायरा समाहितको विचारलाई मलजल गर्ने जस्ता उत्कृष्ट तथा परिमार्जित सोच र कर्म गर्दै जाने दृढताको संकल्प गर्नुपर्छ। अनि मात्र केही होला। होइन भने लाइफ त चली नै रहन्छ नि, होइन र?

हाम्रो भविष्य हाम्रै हातमा छ।

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Kathmandu Diary 2023 काठमाडौँ डायरी २०२३

काठमाडौँ डायरी - भाग ५: काठमाडौँका १० पोजिटिभ कुरा

१. जनसंख्या - लगभग २० लाख जनसंख्या र ५,१६९ जन घनत्व (राष्ट्रिय जनगणना २०७८) भनेको सहर भित्र बन्द व्यापारका लागी प्रशस्त ग्राहक हुन् । अपबाद बाहेक हरेक सडक छेउको घर सटरमा थापिएका पसल तिनका साक्षी हुन् । ति पसलहरुले मुनाफा नगर्दो हुन् त ति बन्द हुने थिए ।

२. बाटो, सर-सफाई र धुलो - यि तिन भाई भारदार अझै झनै राम्रा चिटिक्क हुन सक्छन् तर हालको अवस्था ५ वर्ष अघिको भन्दा निक्कै सुध्रिएको हो ।

३. बिजुली - अक्कल झुक्कल आँखा झिम्काई बाहेक बत्तिको नो समस्या । लोड सेडिङ्गको स्कुलको कक्षाको जस्तो रुटिन याद छ नि ?

४. इलेक्ट्रोनिक बैङ्किङ्ग - ATM यत्र तत्र सर्वत्र, कार्ड QR Code को ब्यापक प्रयोग, बैंक Apps ले कारोबार र लेनदेन निक्कै सहज बनेको छ ।

५. पठाओ र इन् ड्राइभ - ट्याक्सीमा बार्गेनिंग गर्न पर्दैन । यि दुई 'उबर' ले आवत जावत धेरै सहज गरेको छ ।

६. गुणस्तरीय सामान - पैसा छ भने के सामान कस्तो चाहियो ? नो प्रोब्लम ।

७. ट्राफिक - चार पांग्रे गाडीहरु लेनमा बस्छन् । दुई पांग्रे र माइक्रो लाई हेरेर सबै चालकको मुल्यांकन गर्नु सहि नहोला ।

८. इलेक्ट्रिक गाडी - बढ्दो संख्यामा प्राइभेट सवारी इलेक्ट्रिक हुनुले तेल खपतमा पर निर्भरताको अवस्थालाई केहि भए पनि राहत देला कि ?

९. गरि खाने लाई दशैं - 'एता पैसा हावामा छ, टिप्न मात्र जान्न पर्छ', मेरा एक मित्र भन्नु हुन्छ । सहि हो ।

१०. आशा - बालेन र रबिले देखाएको 'light at the end of the tunnel' को बदला दुबैलाई जनताले शंकाको लाभ दिएको अवस्था ।

काठमाडौँ डायरी - भाग ४

काठमाडौँ मेरो जन्म थलो । मेरो घर ।

काठमाडौँ सुन्दर छ । यहाँको मौसम गज्जब छ । संस्कृति लाजवाब ।

काठमाडौँ बासि मेहनती छन् र सहनशिल चाहिने भन्दा अलि बढी नै ।

हाल मेरो हैसियत पलायनवादी । टुरिस्ट ।

एत्ति भूमिका बाँधे पछि काठमाडौँको बारे अहिले यहाँ हुँदा देखे सुनेका केहि बात, केहि गफ गर्न मन लग्यो ।

अर्बन प्लानर आफ्नो पेशा भएको नाताले अलि भिन्न नजरले देख्छु हेर्छु होला शायद ।

लामो लिस्ट ड्राफ्ट गरेको छु । जाँगर चलेछ भने फाईनल गरौंला । हाल लाई केहि छोटा मसिना कुरा ।

पर-जा-तन्त्र पछिका पहिला काठमाडौँका मेयर पि एल सिंह स्वछ सफा हराभरा काठमाडौँ clean, green and healthy Kathmandu भन्नु हुन्थ्यो । डेलिभरी उस्तै उस्तै हो, तर नारा राम्रो हो ।

उज्वल थापा सुन्दरमान्डू बनाउन पर्छ भन्नु हुन्थ्यो ।

आज काठमाडौँ न त स्वछ सफा हराभरा छ, न त सुन्दरमान्डूको बाटो तिर लाग्दै छ ।

बेलगाम दौडेको खच्चर झैँ यो कुनै योजना बिनाको sprawling कंक्रिट जंगल हो ।

२०४० तिर यहाँका घरहरुलाई कसैले ‘बिहारी बक्स’ को नामले नुहारण गरि दिएका थिए । आज ति बाकसहरु अलि ठूला र भित्र सुन्दर छन् । बेस्ट प्राक्टिस मापदण्डले नाप्ने हो भने यो सहर पुरै एक slum हो । आई एम सरि तर यो सत्य हो ।

अन्त्यमा एउटा सानो उदाहरण द्वारा यहाँ जे हुंदै छ त्यसको बिम्ब प्रस्तुत गर्न चाहें । अस्त व्यस्त ध्वस्त सहरमा जताततै फोहोर (littering) - चुरोटका ठुटा देखि कण्डम सम्म, चक्लेटका बोक्रा देखि खोक्रा खोया सम्म । कसैले उठाउदैनन् । आफ्नै घर आँगनको पनि जहाँ को त्यहिँ ।

अनि आम मनोवृत्ति (attitude) भने एस्तो - सफा गर्ने काम र जिम्मेवारी त बालेन, प्रचण्ड र राम साह हरुको पो त । फोहोर गर्न पाउने त जनताको मौलिक अधिकार जस्तो लाग्ने ।

र जनता भन्छन् - 'सरकारले केहि गर्दैन' । निरन्तर ... अनन्त निरन्तर ...

काठमाडौँ डायरी - भाग ३

भिर उक्लेको, ओरालो लागेको महानगर

लगभग ६६५ बर्ग किलोमिटर क्षेत्रफल भएको काठमाडौँ उपत्याकाको वस्ती अब उपत्यकाको भूगोलको सिमाना कोर्ने अग्ला र ठाडा पहाड उक्लिन थालेको छ ।

समय संगै ठूलो हुँदै जानु सहरको स्वाभाविक विकाश क्रम हो । विगत ३० वर्षमा काठमाडौँको जनसंख्या र आकार जति बढेको थियो, अबको ३० वर्षमा महानगर त्यो भन्दा अझै झनै ठूलो हुने गरि बढ्ने वाला छ । राजधानी नै अन्त सारे पनि काठमाडौँको आकार र जनसंख्या दुबैमा तिब्र गतिले वृद्धि हुने वाला छ ।

ठुलो हुँदै नै जाने हो भने उसो भए आजको ३० वर्षमा सहर विस्तारको मामिलामा काठमाडौँ कस्तो होला त ?

उकालो लागेको काठमाडौँको मानव अतिक्रमण छिट्टै शिवपुरी र फुलचोकी को शिखर नाघेर उकाली ओराली गर्दै लाङटाङ, हेटौडा, नैबिसे जस्ता उपत्यका बाहिरका क्षेत्र तिर फैलिन (sprawl) धेरै समय नलाग्ला । यसरी फैलिएको सहरलाई विस्तारीत काठमाडौँ ‘Greater Kathmandu’ भनेर बुझ्दा हुन्छ ।

काठमाडौँ ठूलो हुंदै नै जाने हो, विस्तार क्रम निरन्तर र तिब्र गतिमा जारी हुने नै हो । महानगरको यो स्वाभाविक विकाश क्रम रोक्न खोजेर रोक्न सकिन्न ।

उसो भए के त ?

हामीले गर्न सक्ने व्यवस्थापन मात्रै हो ।

सहर व्यवस्थापनका लागी देश, माटो, हावा, पानी र जनता सुहाउदो दिर्घकालिन भू-उपयोग तथा सहर व्यवस्थापनको सोच र योजनाको अत्यावश्यक छ ।

सोच र योजना आफैमा अमूर्त हुन्छन् । प्रयोगमा ल्याए पछि मात्रै तिनमा ज्यान र आत्मा आउने हो । जब सम्म जनताको दैनिक जिवनमा सकारात्मक परिवर्तन आउदैन सोच र योजना मरेतुल्य, ज्यान र आत्मा विहिन हुन्छ ।

सुन्छु ८ / १० थान दिर्घकालिन मास्टर प्लान महानगरको लाइब्ररिमा थन्कि रहेको दशकौं भो ।

आजको काठमाडौँको अस्त व्यस्तता ३० वर्ष अघि हामीले जे गर्यौं, के गरेनौं र के गर्न चुक्यौं त्यसको नतिजा हो । महानगरको ब्यबस्थापनमा आज हामी फेरी चुक्यौं भने सहर र नगरको वातावरण तथा पर्यावरण (Human, Natural and Urban Environments) मा त्यसको नकारात्मक असर निक्कै गम्भिर हुने वाला छ ।

हामी आज के गर्दै छौं त ? के गर्न ल्याङ्ग ल्याङ्ग गरि रहेछौं । आफ्नै आँखा आगाडी गर्न सक्ने, गर्न पर्ने, रोक्न पर्ने काम कारवाहीका बारे हाम्रो मनोवृत्ति (attitude) के कस्तो छ ? वस्ति विस्तार र विकाशमा आज को हावि छन् ? ढल, बाटो, पार्क, पुस्तकालयको अवस्था के छ ? उठेको करको उपयोगमा कर तिर्ने जनताको कुरा कत्तिको सुनुवाई हुन्छ ? महानगरको प्रशासनले, मेयर Balen र अन्य मेयर साबहरुले, नगरवासी र सरोकार वालाहरुले एक पल्ट सोच विचार गर्नु होला प्लिज

काठमाडौँ डायरी - भाग २

‘Death by thousand cuts’ अर्थात् ‘हजारौं प्रहारबाट हत्या’

यो भनाइ काठमाडौँका खोलाहरुको हकमा सोर्है आना सहि छ ।

२०४० साल तिर सम्म काठमाडौँका खोलाहरुमा सफा पानी बग्थ्यो । पानी एत्ति सफा थियो कि त्यो सिधै धानबारीमा लगाइन्थ्यो । खोलामा पौडी खेल्थे, माछा मार्थे ।

खोला र तिनका तट वर पर एउटा जिवन्त र अति सुन्दर इकोसिस्टम थियो । जैविक विविधताले भरपुर थियो । The river ecosystem had a rich biodiversity.

काठमाडौँका खोलाहरुको मर्डर त्यो दिन सुरु भयो जुन दिन देखी तिनमा कार्पेट रंगाउने सिन्थेटिक एजो डाई (azo dye) र चर्पीको ढल सिधै मिसाइयो ।

काठमाडौँका खोलाहरु आजका दिनमा खुल्ला ढल हुन् । झाडा बान्ता गराउने र दिसाबाट सर्ने जिवाणु E. coli खोला र तिनका छेउ-छाउ हावामा उड्छन् ।

हरेक पल्ट सास फेर्दा अक्सिजन संग संगै धुलो, धुवाँ र E. coli काठमाडौँका जनताका फोक्सो भित्र छिर्ने गर्छन् ।

फोहोर खोलाका कारण दशकौं देखी काठमाडौँ बासीले आफ्नो स्वास्थ्यमा ठूलो मूल्य चुकाई सके । एत्तिकै छोडे आउने पुस्ता र तिनका सन्तानले आफ्नो जन स्वास्थ्यमा अझै ठूलो मूल्य बेहोर्न पर्ने अवस्था आउने निश्चित छ ।

जथाभावी बालुवा खन्नु, तिनका तटमा फोहोर थुपार्नु, खोलालाई सिमंटीले प्लास्टर गर्नु भनेको मरीसकेको खोला माथिका थप प्रहार हुन् ।

अब के गर्ने त ?

चर्पीको ढल खोलामा मिसाउन रोक्ने । त्यसका लागी छुट्टै ढलको व्यवस्था गर्ने । यो गर्न सकिन्छ । तिनका तरिका र उपाय छन् ।

हो, यो महँगो र गार्हो हुन्छ । सजिलो के छ ? धुलो, धुवाँ र झाडा बान्ताको किटाणु E. coli हरेक पल्ट सास फेर्दा फोक्सोमा छिराउन सजिलो छ ? डुंग डुंगती गन्हाउने खोला सुँघेर बस्न सजिलो छ ?

ढल निकाशको व्यवस्था सहरमा नभई हुदैन । ढलको संरचना (wastewater infrastructure) ढिलो चाँडो बनाउनै पर्छ । अर्को उपायै छैन ।

सहरमा ढलको व्यवस्था नहुनु भनेको हाम्रो शरीरमा सफा र फोहोर रगत एउटै नशामा बग्न दिनु जस्तै हो ।

अब अझै ढल व्यवस्था नगर्नु भनेको जन स्वास्थ्यका हिसाबमा महामारीको टाइम बम माथी बस्नु जस्तै हो । जुन दिन त्यो पड्किन्छ, खेल खलास ।

हाललाई समय अझै हाम्रो पक्षमा छ । केहि गरौँ ।

काठमाडौँ डायरी - भाग १

'अर्बन प्लानर हुनु हुंदो रैछ। काठमाडौँको अर्बन प्लान्निंग गर्न के गर्नु पर्छ होला?', धेरै शुभचिन्तक साथीहरु यो प्रश्न मलाई बारम्बार सोध्नु हुन्छ ।

केहि गर्नु अघि धेरै गर्न छोड्नु पर्ने देखिन्छ । जस्तै: खोलामा सिधै ढल मिसाउन । बाटो खन्दा माटो खुल्ला छोडी धुलो उड्न दिन ।

प्लान्निंग भनेको मेट्रो जस्ता महंगा र महत्वाकान्छी प्रोजेक्ट मात्र होइनन् । साधारण सुनिने काम जस्तै हरेक घरको नम्बर राख्नु पनि अति आवश्यक प्लानिंग हो । कर तिर्ने जनताका कुरा भन्न-सुन्न सहज गर्नु पनि प्लान्निंग हो । कुनैपनि गन्तब्य पुग्न रुख वा बिजुली खम्बाको भर पर्नु परुन्जेल अरु ठूला कुरा अलि समय थाति राख्दा जाति होला।

ठूला र महत्वाकान्छी काम गर्नु हुन्न भन्ने मनासय होइन कि let’s go back to basics first भन्न खोजिएको हो । साना-मसिना कुरा ब्यबस्थापन गरिसके पछि मात्र ठूला कुरा आट्न सुहाउला कि ? ठूलो मेलम्ची प्रोजेक्ट ल्याएर घुँडा सम्म पानी वाल-छ्याल पर्ने सपनाको दुर्गतिबाट धेरै सिक्न सकिन्छ ।

अर्बन प्लान्निंग बारे स्वर्गीय आदरणीय मेरा मित्र उज्वल थापासंग निक्कै छलफल हुने गर्थियो । वहाँसंगको सह कार्यमा लेखिएको यो लेखमा काठमाडौँको अर्बन प्लान्निंग बारेको एउटा खाका पढ्न सक्नु हुन्छ - https://rajmaharjan1.blogspot.com/.../want-to-see...

माथिको लेखको अनौपचारिक नेपाली अनुवाद यहाँ उपलब्ध छ - https://rajmaharjan1.blogspot.com/2020/04/blog-post.html

दिक्क लागेर पोखेका प्लान्निंग सम्बन्धि गनथन एता हेर्न सक्नु हुन्छ - https://rajmaharjan1.blogspot.com/.../what-to-do-about...

These are the series of posts made in Facebook during my stay in Kathmandu in the months of 8 August to 10 October, 2023. The posts are about urban planning (or lack there of)

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Divided, deviated and dysfunctional: Non-Resident Nepali Association is in the need of overhauling its culture

नेपालीमा सारांश

गैर आवासीय नेपाली संघको मूल मर्म दु:ख सुखमा नेपालीले नेपालीलाई साथ दिनु हो।

यो मर्म संस्थाको विधानको प्रस्तावना (“विश्वका विभिन्न मुलुकहरुमा बसोवास गरिरहेका गैरआवासीय नेपालीहरुको हितको पक्षपोषण गर्न ...”) तथा उदेश्यहरुमा (“६.१ विदेशमा बस्ने नापलिहरुको हितलाई संरक्षण गर्ने ...” ) उल्लेख छ।

मूल मर्मको मार्गमा रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद्हरु आफूले सकेको गर्दै छन्। तर अन्तर्रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद्ले बाटो बिराएको धेरै भो।

गत सन् २०२१ को अन्तर्रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद्को निर्वाचनको दौरान देखिएका परिदृश्यहरुले यो बेथितिको तथ्यलाई फेरी एक पल्ट उजागर गरेको छ। निर्वाचन अघि डेलिगेट्सका नाममा संसार भरिका सदश्यहरुको व्यक्तिगत र संवेदनशील जानकारी एप्स (Mero NRNA) का माध्यमबाट संकलन गरियो। अन्तमा गएर न त निर्वाचनमा सहभागी गराइयो, न त निर्वाचन सम्बन्धि कुनै जानकारीनै पाइयो। अकस्मात सहमति भो भन्ने खबर सामाजिक संजालबाट प्राप्त भो। संघको आजको यथार्थ भनेको अन्तर्रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद् आज वा भोलि कहिले दुई टुक्रामा चोइटिने हो थाहा छैन। संघ हाल ३ नेतृत्वको विचित्रको अवस्था बाट गुज्री रहेछ ।

नेपाली पार्टीगत राजनीतिको प्रभावले गैर आवासीय नेपाली संघलाई सिथिल पारेको पारेकै छ।संघको चुनावको टिकट पार्टीगत राजनीतिको कित्ता आनुसार काटिनु सामान्य भई सकेको छ। नेपालका मन्त्रि, सांसदहरुले चुनावमा सिधै र ठाडो आदेश जारी गर्ने यो कस्तो परिपाटी बनायौं हामीले ?

अब के गर्ने?

संघको मूल मर्म जिउदो राख्न,

संघले गरेका निक्कै सत्कर्म हरुको सम्मान गर्न,

विदेशिनु भएका नेपालीहरुको आवाज देश भित्र बुलन्द पार्न,

दशौँ हजार साधारण सदश्यहरुको आत्मसम्मान कायम राख्न, तथा

विश्व मानचित्रमा नेपालीको शिर उचो राख्न,

१. बिराएको बाटो सुधार गरि आफ्नो मूल मर्ममा फर्कने;

२. संघको विधानको प्रस्तावनामा उल्लेख गरिएको मर्म आत्मसाथ गर्दै सबै तहमा पार्टीगत राजनीति तुरुन्त बन्द गर्ने;

३. नेतृत्व तहले सन् २०२१ को अन्तर्रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद्को निर्वाचनको दौरान भएका त्रुटीका लागी आम सदश्यसंग माफी माग्ने। निर्वाचनका बेला संकलन गरिएका सदश्यहरुको व्यक्तिगत र संवेदनशील जानकारी कहाँ कसरी सुरक्षित छ प्रस्ट जानकारी दिने; तथा

४. सबै साधारण सदश्य तथा ८५ रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद्हरुले बेथिति विरुद्द आवाज उठाउने, प्रश्न गर्ने। जवाफ नआएसम्म प्रश्न सोधी रहने।

मैले त आफ्नो रास्ट्रिय समन्वय परिषद् मार्फत तथा यो लेख लेखेर प्रश्न सोधि सकें। अब पालो यहाँको ...

~~~~~

Divided, deviated and dysfunctional: Non-Resident Nepali Association is in the need of overhauling its culture (Part 1)

 

Helping each other during good or bad times is the heart and soul of what NRNA is all about. Supporting Nepal during times of need is the legacy of NRNA since it was established in 2003. Unfortunately, coming into 2023, where are we now? It is time for a deep soul searching. 

 

Few weeks ago, we had an unfortunate incident in New Zealand within our Nepali community. A Nepali, unfortunately, lost his life while at work. His body was repatriated home to his family in Nepal with the help of the members of the Nepali community in New Zealand. 

The Non Resident Nepali Association (NRNA) New Zealand played a crucial role in the repatriation. Within a matter of a few days from calling for donation by the NRNA New Zealand, a substantial amount was raised. The donation was utilized to meet the cost of flying the body home. Surplus amount would be handed over to the concerned family.

This is an example of the spirit of NRNA. Helping each other during good or bad times is the heart and soul of what NRNA is all about. Supporting Nepal during times of need is the legacy of NRNA since it was established in 2003. NRNA and the wider Nepali diaspora communities residing throughout the world have generously helped Nepal during difficult times. We saw the overwhelming support from diaspora pouring in during crises such as the global COVID-19 pandemic and the 2015 earthquake, to give a few examples. 

To “protect the interest of Nepalis residing abroad…” is one of the primary objectives, as outlined in the section 6.1 of the constitution of the NRNA. It is simple. Yet, very powerful. It is the essence of being “once a Nepali, always a Nepali”. This is “Nepalipan" (being a Nepali).

Unfortunately, coming into 2023, where are we now? It is time for a deep soul searching. 

 

Erosion of norms and values

By now, the above-mentioned spirit of NRNA is lost. We, it seems, have forgotten the very core norms and values of the organization. The widespread and strong feeling among diaspora who are in favor of a genuine NRNA is that the NRNA's International Coordination Council (ICC) has lost its direction. ICC is the body of the NRNA that governs its global roles and functions. You might recall the NRNA International Convention in Kathmandu, held every two years at five star hotels, when the international office bearers are elected.

NRNA has country chapters, known as the National Coordination Council (NCC) in 85 countries. Majority of the NCCs are functioning well, making genuine effort to help and support Nepalis in their respective countries. The ICC, however, seems to have lost its way. It is sad that things are getting worse with time. 

The discontent within the ICC hit a new low during the latest round of election conducted in 2021. Leading up to it and during the election, democratic norms and values were openly thrown out of the window. The democratic practices many diaspora populations are trying to instill in the organization, and as written in its constitution, were not only outright disrespected but also blatantly ignored.

The 2021 ICC Convention in Kathmandu ended up in selecting three different Presidents. To make the matter worse, in the aftermath, the NRNA is divided from the top to the bottom. The institution is on the verge of vertically splitting into two different organizations being led by two splinter groups.

 

Broken promises and compromised rules 

Leading up to the 2021 ICC election, detailed personal information from the global NRNA members (delegates) were collected by the ICC to compile the supposed voter list. Phone number, photograph, copy of passport and copy of visa were collected through the newly launched “Mero NRNA” App. We were promised that, for the first time, the NCC members from around the world would be able to vote online from where they are in the ICC election.

We were all excited and keen to be able to vote to select our representatives. Tragically, towards the conclusion of the ICC convention, voters and members around the globe were kept in the dark about the election process. No communication, nothing. We resorted to online and social media to find out what was going on. Our NCCs had no clue about what was happening in Kathmandu. 

Overnight, we learned from the online media that the NRNA elected three Presidents. To rub salt in the wound, we learned that this was done by changing the constitution overnight to accommodate this strange distribution of positions. Essentially, all candidates that stood in the election and a handful of top leaders had a “sahamati” (consensus) and declared everyone that stood in the election winners without any contest or voting. Apparently, people who did not even register themselves as candidates were elected too. It is only an example of how general members continue to be deceived and disrespected in the name of representing them. Once again, the 2021 election has sent a chilling message to the Nepali diaspora community that they don’t matter in the eyes of the leaders. 

What happens at the top of an institution flows to the grassroots. The negative message and impact of this kind of misuse of power is going to catch up with us soon enough. The ICC has set a precedent to legitimize that whoever stands in the NRNA election wins. If your constitution does not allow it, you can bend them overnight as you wish in the name of “sahamati”. Now, what kind of practice is that? Where will it lead us?

 

Divided, deviated and dysfunctional: Non-Resident Nepali Association is in the need of overhauling its culture (Part 2)

We must go back to our core spirit before it is too late. Once reunited with the collective cause, our actions will gradually come back on track. 

 

Held hostage by partisan politics and vested interests

If you scratch under the surface, NRNA is under the direct influence of Nepal's partisan politics. Sadly, panels are created along Nepal's major political parties’ lines during elections. Candidates choose to stand in the election under a party’s flag. This is an open secret that no-one even bothers to hide. 

One of the first things prospective candidates do is to go knock on the leaders of political parties. Candidates lobby with the parties and vice-versa.  Similar to how the electoral constituencies are distributed in Nepali elections, the political parties distribute “tickets'' to prospective candidates of the NRNA elections. Your chances of winning the NRNA election is poor if you are not endorsed by a Nepali political party.

Leading up to the 2021 ICC election, candidates were selected on the basis of decisions made by the representatives of Nepali political parties based overseas and the party leaders in Kathmandu. Senior ministers, members of parliament, and party leaders in Kathmandu directly and openly intervened. Nepali political parties and their leaders endorsed the NRNA candidates. The parties officially issued directives, publishing it in their letterheads, to their overseas based sister organizations to campaign and to vote for the candidates of the party’s choice. All this happened in the broad daylight and with an open invitation from the aspiring candidates. 

Many see NRNA as an exclusive club of businessmen with narrow agenda and vested interests. The institution of NRNA seems to be held hostage by a limited number of businessmen - from top at the ICC to the NCC levels. We can see leaders of NRNA get direct access to the highest level of the political echelons in Nepal. They have direct access to even the prime minister of Nepal. Easy and direct access to media comes with the prize of being an NRNA leader. Isn’t it dishonesty to pursue vested political and business interests under the disguise of serving the global diaspora of a social organization?

The organizational credibility and the institutional strength of the NRNA has been misused by businessmen to pursue their own vested interest in the name of the diaspora. “International Nepali Chamber of Commerce” is probably a more suitable name on the basis of the agenda being pursued and how NRNA is functioning today. Sad part of this is that NRNA is a social organization established to act in the best interest and to work for the welfare of the global Nepali diaspora. The mandate of global representation is eroding rapidly. NRNA, as an organization, has significantly deviated from its core spirit a long time ago. 

 

Course correction measures: an appeal to the global diaspora community

If the course is not corrected immediately, we are heading towards a disaster. NRNA, as an institution representing the voice of our global diaspora, will lose its relevance if reforms measures are not implemented soon.

If we look at the numbers, only a small proportion of the total number of diaspora population are members of the NRNA.The second generation (children born overseas to Nepali parents) has hardly any interest in the affairs of the NRNA. Their reason is simply, "there is nothing for us”.  Malpractices such as that seen during the recently concluded ICC election puts people off, further disenfranchising the diaspora. 

Change would have to come from the leadership. Bending the rules during elections in the name of sahamti must stop. Despite living for decades in countries with exemplary good governance, and fervently praising them, we seem to have failed to learn from such examples. Everyone must abide by the constitution of the NRNA, and follow the democratic process. All party politics must stop right away at all levels, as outlined in the preamble of the constitution of the NRNA.

Leaders must aspire to be role models. They have to set an example by doing the right thing. Our leaders must walk the talk instead of preaching one thing before the election and doing exactly the opposite when it comes to seeking positions during elections. How fair is it if those of us in the NCCs have to defend our ICC leaders’ inappropriate actions? Here we are promoting the NRNA among authorities in our country of residence, and what do we see from our leadership? 

NRNA members throughout the world deserve an apology for what happened during the recently completed ICC election. Someone should take responsibility and be held accountable. Or else we will be perpetuating the culture of one being able to do whatever one wants without any consequences. 

At the grass-root level, all 85 NCCs and general members have to speak up. If you don't make yourself heard, you don't exist. Simply paying your membership fee, ignoring everything and then venting your anger on Facebook when things go wrong will not get you any positive results. You have to call out the culprits, whoever they are. 

This article is my contribution in calling out about the deep-rooted and chronic discontents within the wider institution and its culture. This is an attempt in holding our people accountable to their actions. In addition to this article, I have written to the NRNA New Zealand seeking an answer about the recently concluded ICC election. In my written request, I have asked to refund the ICC levy component of my membership fee. I have also advised to seek avenues to severe association of the NCC New Zealand with the ICC. If my request to the New Zealand NCC doesn't yield any concrete action, I have got plans to gradually escalate it. I intend to ask questions until I get an answer. We will have to wait and see how it goes. I may face backlash or even expulsion for blowing the whistle like this but I am willing to face the consequences. It is not about me, rather, I am speaking for thousands of members who have chosen to remain silent for whatever reasons. What is at stake here is the credibility of the organization and the dignity of its tens of thousands of members. You can’t block the sun with your palm. Not any longer.

It is time for change. Change happens only when people choose to speak up. When people revolt, the leaders must listen or face oblivion. There is no other option. We have seen this time and again. That is what history teaches us. To correct its course, tinkering on the edges is not going to work. We have to restart the system. We must go back to our core spirit before it is too late. Once reunited with the collective cause, our actions will gradually come back on track. 

To preserve and to advance its spirit; to have a more credible voice of the diaspora in Nepal (such as in the case of the recently adopted amendments to the Citizenship Bill that has paved the way for dual citizenship); to acknowledge the many good deeds carried out by the NRNA; to protect the tens of thousands of members’ self-respect and dignity; and to strengthen our position on the global stage, difficult it may be, it is high time we ask questions to ourselves and to our leaders. We will get the answers only if we ask the questions.

(Raj Maharjan is based in Auckland, New Zealand. Urban Planner by profession, he is an advisor to the NRNA New Zealand)

[Part 1 and 2 of the above articles were published in Nepal Live Today on July 27 and 28 respectively, with minor editorial changes]

Ujwal “Maverick” Thapa: A eulogy

The legend of Ujwal “Maverick” Thapa goes like this - Once upon a time, long looong time ago, Ujwal Thapa was sitting an exam while he was a student at the Budhanilkhanta School. One of the questions in that exam was to write an essay.

Unfortunately, I do not have full details of the question or the exam or his schooling. We became friends more recently in January 2013. If any of his schoolmates have details about this exam and the particular question, please help to fill in this information.

Ujwal being Ujwal apparently drew a fancy and detailed cartoon in answer to this question that asked to write an essay.

Upon learning of his feat, Ujwal’s colleagues suggested he is going to fail the exam.

Guess what? He scored top marks for his cartooneering.

During one of our conversations, I verified this folklore to be 100% true from the man himself. When I queried Ujwal about this, he was kind of shy to admit that it happened. Upon my probing, with this well-known grin of his, he goes, “हो... हो…” (Yes, yes). On that day I told him that from there on he will be “maverick” between us. The term is in reference to the Maverick of the movie Top Gun.

Ujwal was different. He is the epitome of out of the box thinking, lateral thinking, strategic... you name it; all these fancy framework or models . He lived out of this world thinking.

In one of the online meetings of keen “wanna-be-change leaders” from around the world (about 20-25 attendees; at times we needed to break the meetings into 2-3 rooms due to the large number of attendees), back in January 2013, I was concerned with confidentiality of the topics and documents we were producing. Ujwal doesn’t speak much at meetings and he usually has his say in the end. At this meeting also he took his turn at the very end after listening to everyone for more than an hour. In response to my confidentiality concerns, Ujwal goes, “Raj, if we have to hide what we are doing, we are doing something wrong”. “दिमागमा लागेको ढक्कन खुल्यो उज्वल । धन्यवाद । ”, I said (You opened my eyes, Ujwal. Thank you).

Yes, Uj (another name we used during our conversation) opened my eyes to my role, duties and obligations towards the homeland. He did so without making me feel guilty. Rather, he motivated and encouraged me. He gave me something that gave me a lot of “buzz”. The ideas we would discuss kept me up all night.

Remember the कुकुर वाला चुनाव ? (The election in which Ujwal and friends stood in election with dog as the election symbol). It was the 2nd Constitution Assembly Election in 2013 when the then “Bibeksheel Nepali Manch” filed candidacy from four constituencies in Kathmandu. Maverick, of course, was one of the candidates. Ujwal and the other three candidates (Pukar Bam, Govinda Narayan and Santosh Pradhan) might have received a few hundred votes each in that election but that planted the seeds of alternative politics firmly on the ground. The rest is history.

Ujwal was a visionary leader. He had grand plans. He didn’t like doing small talk. On our last meeting at his home on 2018-04-07, he was so serious about establishing a conglomerate of businesses similar to Samsung. “Samsung” was the exact company he referred to. He liked to think forward. He was far ahead of our times. 

Ujwal went to the USA for higher studies to become an astrologer. Instead, he returned to Nepal after gaining a degree in IT. In his own words, when he returned from the USA, instead of souvenirs he brought back heaps of books and his old computer in his suit cases. After a stint in Conflict Management in Nepal during the conflict era, Ujwal then inspired many IT professionals in Nepal to grow their business. He is one of the founders of the WordPress Nepal. Additionally, Ujwal was the catalyst and the thinker behind Entrepreneurs for Nepal (E4N) movement long ago the Bibeksheel movement. Many of us know him for his leadership role in the Bibeksheel movement but he was a man of many talents, so as to speak.

Today, on this day when Ujwal has left us to go on an eternal journey, I hope he has found the meaning of life he so longed to seek. I am hearing his words in my head. That laugh, those filler words that he used to mix during our phone conversations “एस्तो हो के... हो हो... हैन राज ?..." 

I am numb today. I have no clue how to process this news. I have not yet lost a close family member but it must feel like how I am feeling right now.

The void in our lives created due to Ujwal’s early exit from this existence will never be filled. His shoes are too big to fill, in my view. We should, however, celebrate his extraordinary life, his achievements and his contributions. We have to do something productive and creative to keep his legacy alive.

On this sad day, I am thinking a lot about Ujwal, his family members and our mutual friends. Most importantly, I am thinking about Erika. 

Ujwal was more than a friend and a mentor to me. He was my brother. He was my friend. He was my leader.

Long live, Maverick. So long, my friend. I will miss you.

Thank you for everything, Maverick.

(If you are new to Ujwal Phenomenon, please read his blogs to get a peek into his mind https://www.whynepal.com/ujwal/)

Where Do We Belong?

This article was published in April 2021 edition of the Namaste magazine. Namaste is an annual publication of the Nepal New Zealand Friendship Society of Canterbury.

Introduction

To belong somewhere is to feel content, comfortable and connected to that place. That may sound simple but developing a sense of belonging could be tricky and complex, especially for the first generation migrants i.e. someone who is the first in their family to permanently migrate to a new place. 

In this article, as a first generation Nepali migrant who moved to New Zealand, I will discuss the intricacies of finding a sense of belonging in a new country. Readers who are first generation migrants themselves may find similarities between their own experience and those I have discussed here. Probably even a sense of Déjà vu between the lines. However, despite being a first generation migrant, your trajectories of life events may have been completely different in your adopted home. Although individual circumstances and personal experience might be different, it is fair to assume that there are many similarities when it comes to the emotional rollercoaster experienced by the first generation migrants. 

Initial Days 

I came to New Zealand in 2005. For a few years since leaving Nepal, it felt as if I was physically in New Zealand but mentally and emotionally still in Nepal. I was worsening my home-sickness by constantly comparing and contrasting everything. In addition, I used to complain about many things. Virtually everything - weather, government, leaders, migrants, natives, traffic, parking, job, cost of living, people on benefit, dogs, cats, bad haircut, and so on. I used to behave as if my life in Nepal was great and that in New Zealand was a pain.

Obsessed to remain updated, I frequently scrambled for any News from Nepal. Every morning would start with browsing news websites or flicking through social media posts for recent developments in Nepal. The favourite topic was political news and current affairs. I frequently engaged in intense debates about current affairs from Nepal with my friends whenever we had an opportunity. Such debates used to be dominated with complaining about politics and cursing the politicians. 

While I was an avid follower of current affairs in Nepal, I had only limited knowledge or interest about what was happening in New Zealand. That was true in case of political affairs too. Although I voted in New Zealand elections, I did not try to learn about the governance structure or the political parties. I had no idea what issues or agendas they represented. I used to think that there was nothing for me in New Zealand politics. 

I used to regularly follow events and incidents involving Nepali community in New Zealand. I took part in raising funds and helping with charitable causes to support our people in Nepal and New Zealand. To be part of such causes was hugely satisfying. However, I supported only a handful of Non-Nepali causes personally or as part of the Nepali community.

Reflection and Realisation

As the years went by, my behaviour and actions started to feel awkward to myself. While none of them were a blunder or deliberate mistake, the antics from the initial days began to feel odd. What I was doing may have been harmless in isolation but they were gradually becoming a problem. I seem to have developed a pattern of bad habits that not only influenced my thinking but also shaped my actions. 

I may not have achieved way too much over the years but I am humbled by many things I have received from New Zealand. Recently, I am increasingly realising that over the years I have been very self-centred. Yes, I worked hard and invested a lot of time and effort. But the reality is that whatever I received in return would not have been possible without the system and institutions of New Zealand. They were possible only because of an enabling administration and a generous government. These days, I often wonder, “what have I given back in return to all that New Zealand gave me?” The answer, sadly, is, “not much”. Yes, I work and I pay tax. But I work to make a living and every earner pays their tax. There must be something more I can do or should do. There has to be something. 

Helping with causes to do with Nepal and Nepalis is my duty. It is my obligation as a Nepali. I will continue to do so whenever I can. However, I have started to find this act of doing exclusively for “your own people” a bit isolating and repetitive. I am increasingly finding it selfish, especially because I hardly do anything to help members of the wider society of New Zealand. 

It does not make much sense to get sentimental about anything that happens in Nepal but to ignore many things in New Zealand. I am not suggesting to stop all engagements or to cease all interests in Nepal. The problem is in this habit of getting obsessed with anything and everything to do with Nepal but showing very little interest in what is happening right in the backyard here in New Zealand.  

I acknowledge that for a long time I took for granted what New Zealand offered. I did not appreciate the sense of safety, stability and civility. I did not notice how egalitarian the society is. I was not thankful enough for the services that I received from the government-funded healthcare and education systems. I did not realise the generosity and tolerance of the society towards migrants. I was not grateful enough towards the government for keeping my family safe from the Covid pandemic. 

I had this conversation with a friend a while ago, “looking at their behaviour of those Nepali who permanently left the country, it seems their impression of Nepal and Nepali is frozen in their mind in the year they left the country”. Little did I realise this applied to me too. So my impression of Nepal is frozen in the year 2005. Since then for many years, in my mind, I had been nostalgically revisiting Nepal of the year 2005. I had been constantly longing for my life from back then. While romanticising with the sentiments from the golden years from back home, I overlooked what I had right in front of me in New Zealand. Sadly, for a long time I chose to remain oblivious of my responsibilities towards my adopted home. 

Questions 

After passing the stages of contradictions and reflection came the waves of questions. I started to question what I was doing and the choices I was making. Those questions hit me like a ton of bricks. They troubled me big time, day and night. They still haunt me. When they do, the questions come in waves like a tsunami. Like a broken record, a voice in my head keeps repeating those questions on and on. With every passing day, the sound in my head got louder and louder.

Here are few of the questions in no particular order or importance:

• How happy, comfortable and connected do I feel here in New Zealand, or am I still longing for being “back home”?
• If this country has given me so much, what is my responsibility towards New Zealand?
• Am I going to be thankful for what New Zealand has to offer, or am I going to continue to be critical and keep complaining?  
• Is it justified to continue to be choosy and help only those causes that directly and only benefit “our people”?
• Am I contributing to forward the matters that are of common interests to the wider Nepali community, or am I only engaging in self-serving activities? 
• Is it sensible to continue to be obsessive about what happens in Nepal but remain disinterested in affairs of New Zealand?
• At what point am I going to stop comparing and contrasting between “here” and “over there”?
• Am I going to do anything about my complaints (about both Nepal and New Zealand)?
• Why is my mind preoccupied with incidents that occur in Nepal despite my limited ability and disinterest to take any action to do anything about them?

Hindsight and Foresight

Once I started to question my actions, it helped me understand where I was coming from. They not only helped me to pause and think but the questions also helped me visualise the consequences of my actions. It did not take too long to realise how parochial my thoughts were, how narrow my boundaries were, and how myopic my vision was. 

What about answers to the questions? Well, I am still looking. They are tough questions indeed. I have been digging deep and doing some serious soul-searching. Finding answers has been an on-going work in progress. To this day, many questions still remain unanswered. Of the answers I have managed to find, many are either incomplete or unsatisfactory. To make the matter worse, things keep changing and new questions keep popping up. Although they seem random and vague, the questions have been an excellent reference point to reflect on the past as well as to visualise the future. 

Uncomfortable the questions might be, they are a part and parcel of what goes inside the mind of a first generation migrant. Frustrating they might be, such questions are bound to come up sooner or later. Difficult they might be, we must ask such questions. Inconvenient they might be, we must have the courage to question our motives and actions. For we will get answers, only if we dared to ask.  

After going through many cycles of emotional rollercoaster, I am now certain that questions like these point towards one attribute - sense of belonging. The root cause of contradiction, confusion and frustration seems to have originated from a lack of sense of belonging. 

In retrospect, when I arrived in New Zealand, I seem to have left my sense of belonging “back home”. To make it worse, I was desperately searching for it in a place where I was no longer living for many years. No wonder I could not find what I was looking for where I was searching for it. Obviously, I was looking in the wrong place. 

 

The ongoing self-reflection and the Q&A sessions with myself have been a long journey to find a sense of belonging. Nepal is my country of birth. I have strong feelings towards my country. I will forever cherish the memories of growing up in Nepal. I am emotionally connected with my motherland. Nepali heritage is an integral part of my identity. I will remain proud of my Nepali identity and heritage. It is part of who I am. Even if I wanted, I can not change my Nepali heritage and identity. That is a reality. 

The new reality, however, is that the attributes of being a Nepali is part of my history. Life in New Zealand is my present and it is my future too. Yes, I will continue to have affinity and connection with Nepal but the fact is that at the present, I am living my life in New Zealand. I made a conscious decision to move to New Zealand and to live here permanently. I have no choice but to build and advance my life right here. 

It takes time and effort to get used to a new place and environment. The quest to search for a sense of belonging in my adopted home has been hell of a journey. On this journey, I have learned and discovered many things. It has been an eye opener in many ways. It seems like there is more to realise and to understand. To belong, in my view, is a gradual process. We slowly get there, one step closer at a time. 

If you are someone who keeps asking similar questions like I do, I wish you all the best in your journey to find a sense of belonging in your adopted home.