Ujwal “Maverick” Thapa: A eulogy

The legend of Ujwal “Maverick” Thapa goes like this - Once upon a time, long looong time ago, Ujwal Thapa was sitting an exam while he was a student at the Budhanilkhanta School. One of the questions in that exam was to write an essay.

Unfortunately, I do not have full details of the question or the exam or his schooling. We became friends more recently in January 2013. If any of his schoolmates have details about this exam and the particular question, please help to fill in this information.

Ujwal being Ujwal apparently drew a fancy and detailed cartoon in answer to this question that asked to write an essay.

Upon learning of his feat, Ujwal’s colleagues suggested he is going to fail the exam.

Guess what? He scored top marks for his cartooneering.

During one of our conversations, I verified this folklore to be 100% true from the man himself. When I queried Ujwal about this, he was kind of shy to admit that it happened. Upon my probing, with this well-known grin of his, he goes, “हो... हो…” (Yes, yes). On that day I told him that from there on he will be “maverick” between us. The term is in reference to the Maverick of the movie Top Gun.

Ujwal was different. He is the epitome of out of the box thinking, lateral thinking, strategic... you name it; all these fancy framework or models . He lived out of this world thinking.

In one of the online meetings of keen “wanna-be-change leaders” from around the world (about 20-25 attendees; at times we needed to break the meetings into 2-3 rooms due to the large number of attendees), back in January 2013, I was concerned with confidentiality of the topics and documents we were producing. Ujwal doesn’t speak much at meetings and he usually has his say in the end. At this meeting also he took his turn at the very end after listening to everyone for more than an hour. In response to my confidentiality concerns, Ujwal goes, “Raj, if we have to hide what we are doing, we are doing something wrong”. “दिमागमा लागेको ढक्कन खुल्यो उज्वल । धन्यवाद । ”, I said (You opened my eyes, Ujwal. Thank you).

Yes, Uj (another name we used during our conversation) opened my eyes to my role, duties and obligations towards the homeland. He did so without making me feel guilty. Rather, he motivated and encouraged me. He gave me something that gave me a lot of “buzz”. The ideas we would discuss kept me up all night.

Remember the कुकुर वाला चुनाव ? (The election in which Ujwal and friends stood in election with dog as the election symbol). It was the 2nd Constitution Assembly Election in 2013 when the then “Bibeksheel Nepali Manch” filed candidacy from four constituencies in Kathmandu. Maverick, of course, was one of the candidates. Ujwal and the other three candidates (Pukar Bam, Govinda Narayan and Santosh Pradhan) might have received a few hundred votes each in that election but that planted the seeds of alternative politics firmly on the ground. The rest is history.

Ujwal was a visionary leader. He had grand plans. He didn’t like doing small talk. On our last meeting at his home on 2018-04-07, he was so serious about establishing a conglomerate of businesses similar to Samsung. “Samsung” was the exact company he referred to. He liked to think forward. He was far ahead of our times. 

Ujwal went to the USA for higher studies to become an astrologer. Instead, he returned to Nepal after gaining a degree in IT. In his own words, when he returned from the USA, instead of souvenirs he brought back heaps of books and his old computer in his suit cases. After a stint in Conflict Management in Nepal during the conflict era, Ujwal then inspired many IT professionals in Nepal to grow their business. He is one of the founders of the WordPress Nepal. Additionally, Ujwal was the catalyst and the thinker behind Entrepreneurs for Nepal (E4N) movement long ago the Bibeksheel movement. Many of us know him for his leadership role in the Bibeksheel movement but he was a man of many talents, so as to speak.

Today, on this day when Ujwal has left us to go on an eternal journey, I hope he has found the meaning of life he so longed to seek. I am hearing his words in my head. That laugh, those filler words that he used to mix during our phone conversations “एस्तो हो के... हो हो... हैन राज ?..." 

I am numb today. I have no clue how to process this news. I have not yet lost a close family member but it must feel like how I am feeling right now.

The void in our lives created due to Ujwal’s early exit from this existence will never be filled. His shoes are too big to fill, in my view. We should, however, celebrate his extraordinary life, his achievements and his contributions. We have to do something productive and creative to keep his legacy alive.

On this sad day, I am thinking a lot about Ujwal, his family members and our mutual friends. Most importantly, I am thinking about Erika. 

Ujwal was more than a friend and a mentor to me. He was my brother. He was my friend. He was my leader.

Long live, Maverick. So long, my friend. I will miss you.

Thank you for everything, Maverick.

(If you are new to Ujwal Phenomenon, please read his blogs to get a peek into his mind https://www.whynepal.com/ujwal/)

Where Do We Belong?

This article was published in April 2021 edition of the Namaste magazine. Namaste is an annual publication of the Nepal New Zealand Friendship Society of Canterbury.

Introduction

To belong somewhere is to feel content, comfortable and connected to that place. That may sound simple but developing a sense of belonging could be tricky and complex, especially for the first generation migrants i.e. someone who is the first in their family to permanently migrate to a new place. 

In this article, as a first generation Nepali migrant who moved to New Zealand, I will discuss the intricacies of finding a sense of belonging in a new country. Readers who are first generation migrants themselves may find similarities between their own experience and those I have discussed here. Probably even a sense of Déjà vu between the lines. However, despite being a first generation migrant, your trajectories of life events may have been completely different in your adopted home. Although individual circumstances and personal experience might be different, it is fair to assume that there are many similarities when it comes to the emotional rollercoaster experienced by the first generation migrants. 

Initial Days 

I came to New Zealand in 2005. For a few years since leaving Nepal, it felt as if I was physically in New Zealand but mentally and emotionally still in Nepal. I was worsening my home-sickness by constantly comparing and contrasting everything. In addition, I used to complain about many things. Virtually everything - weather, government, leaders, migrants, natives, traffic, parking, job, cost of living, people on benefit, dogs, cats, bad haircut, and so on. I used to behave as if my life in Nepal was great and that in New Zealand was a pain.

Obsessed to remain updated, I frequently scrambled for any News from Nepal. Every morning would start with browsing news websites or flicking through social media posts for recent developments in Nepal. The favourite topic was political news and current affairs. I frequently engaged in intense debates about current affairs from Nepal with my friends whenever we had an opportunity. Such debates used to be dominated with complaining about politics and cursing the politicians. 

While I was an avid follower of current affairs in Nepal, I had only limited knowledge or interest about what was happening in New Zealand. That was true in case of political affairs too. Although I voted in New Zealand elections, I did not try to learn about the governance structure or the political parties. I had no idea what issues or agendas they represented. I used to think that there was nothing for me in New Zealand politics. 

I used to regularly follow events and incidents involving Nepali community in New Zealand. I took part in raising funds and helping with charitable causes to support our people in Nepal and New Zealand. To be part of such causes was hugely satisfying. However, I supported only a handful of Non-Nepali causes personally or as part of the Nepali community.

Reflection and Realisation

As the years went by, my behaviour and actions started to feel awkward to myself. While none of them were a blunder or deliberate mistake, the antics from the initial days began to feel odd. What I was doing may have been harmless in isolation but they were gradually becoming a problem. I seem to have developed a pattern of bad habits that not only influenced my thinking but also shaped my actions. 

I may not have achieved way too much over the years but I am humbled by many things I have received from New Zealand. Recently, I am increasingly realising that over the years I have been very self-centred. Yes, I worked hard and invested a lot of time and effort. But the reality is that whatever I received in return would not have been possible without the system and institutions of New Zealand. They were possible only because of an enabling administration and a generous government. These days, I often wonder, “what have I given back in return to all that New Zealand gave me?” The answer, sadly, is, “not much”. Yes, I work and I pay tax. But I work to make a living and every earner pays their tax. There must be something more I can do or should do. There has to be something. 

Helping with causes to do with Nepal and Nepalis is my duty. It is my obligation as a Nepali. I will continue to do so whenever I can. However, I have started to find this act of doing exclusively for “your own people” a bit isolating and repetitive. I am increasingly finding it selfish, especially because I hardly do anything to help members of the wider society of New Zealand. 

It does not make much sense to get sentimental about anything that happens in Nepal but to ignore many things in New Zealand. I am not suggesting to stop all engagements or to cease all interests in Nepal. The problem is in this habit of getting obsessed with anything and everything to do with Nepal but showing very little interest in what is happening right in the backyard here in New Zealand.  

I acknowledge that for a long time I took for granted what New Zealand offered. I did not appreciate the sense of safety, stability and civility. I did not notice how egalitarian the society is. I was not thankful enough for the services that I received from the government-funded healthcare and education systems. I did not realise the generosity and tolerance of the society towards migrants. I was not grateful enough towards the government for keeping my family safe from the Covid pandemic. 

I had this conversation with a friend a while ago, “looking at their behaviour of those Nepali who permanently left the country, it seems their impression of Nepal and Nepali is frozen in their mind in the year they left the country”. Little did I realise this applied to me too. So my impression of Nepal is frozen in the year 2005. Since then for many years, in my mind, I had been nostalgically revisiting Nepal of the year 2005. I had been constantly longing for my life from back then. While romanticising with the sentiments from the golden years from back home, I overlooked what I had right in front of me in New Zealand. Sadly, for a long time I chose to remain oblivious of my responsibilities towards my adopted home. 

Questions 

After passing the stages of contradictions and reflection came the waves of questions. I started to question what I was doing and the choices I was making. Those questions hit me like a ton of bricks. They troubled me big time, day and night. They still haunt me. When they do, the questions come in waves like a tsunami. Like a broken record, a voice in my head keeps repeating those questions on and on. With every passing day, the sound in my head got louder and louder.

Here are few of the questions in no particular order or importance:

• How happy, comfortable and connected do I feel here in New Zealand, or am I still longing for being “back home”?
• If this country has given me so much, what is my responsibility towards New Zealand?
• Am I going to be thankful for what New Zealand has to offer, or am I going to continue to be critical and keep complaining?  
• Is it justified to continue to be choosy and help only those causes that directly and only benefit “our people”?
• Am I contributing to forward the matters that are of common interests to the wider Nepali community, or am I only engaging in self-serving activities? 
• Is it sensible to continue to be obsessive about what happens in Nepal but remain disinterested in affairs of New Zealand?
• At what point am I going to stop comparing and contrasting between “here” and “over there”?
• Am I going to do anything about my complaints (about both Nepal and New Zealand)?
• Why is my mind preoccupied with incidents that occur in Nepal despite my limited ability and disinterest to take any action to do anything about them?

Hindsight and Foresight

Once I started to question my actions, it helped me understand where I was coming from. They not only helped me to pause and think but the questions also helped me visualise the consequences of my actions. It did not take too long to realise how parochial my thoughts were, how narrow my boundaries were, and how myopic my vision was. 

What about answers to the questions? Well, I am still looking. They are tough questions indeed. I have been digging deep and doing some serious soul-searching. Finding answers has been an on-going work in progress. To this day, many questions still remain unanswered. Of the answers I have managed to find, many are either incomplete or unsatisfactory. To make the matter worse, things keep changing and new questions keep popping up. Although they seem random and vague, the questions have been an excellent reference point to reflect on the past as well as to visualise the future. 

Uncomfortable the questions might be, they are a part and parcel of what goes inside the mind of a first generation migrant. Frustrating they might be, such questions are bound to come up sooner or later. Difficult they might be, we must ask such questions. Inconvenient they might be, we must have the courage to question our motives and actions. For we will get answers, only if we dared to ask.  

After going through many cycles of emotional rollercoaster, I am now certain that questions like these point towards one attribute - sense of belonging. The root cause of contradiction, confusion and frustration seems to have originated from a lack of sense of belonging. 

In retrospect, when I arrived in New Zealand, I seem to have left my sense of belonging “back home”. To make it worse, I was desperately searching for it in a place where I was no longer living for many years. No wonder I could not find what I was looking for where I was searching for it. Obviously, I was looking in the wrong place. 

 

The ongoing self-reflection and the Q&A sessions with myself have been a long journey to find a sense of belonging. Nepal is my country of birth. I have strong feelings towards my country. I will forever cherish the memories of growing up in Nepal. I am emotionally connected with my motherland. Nepali heritage is an integral part of my identity. I will remain proud of my Nepali identity and heritage. It is part of who I am. Even if I wanted, I can not change my Nepali heritage and identity. That is a reality. 

The new reality, however, is that the attributes of being a Nepali is part of my history. Life in New Zealand is my present and it is my future too. Yes, I will continue to have affinity and connection with Nepal but the fact is that at the present, I am living my life in New Zealand. I made a conscious decision to move to New Zealand and to live here permanently. I have no choice but to build and advance my life right here. 

It takes time and effort to get used to a new place and environment. The quest to search for a sense of belonging in my adopted home has been hell of a journey. On this journey, I have learned and discovered many things. It has been an eye opener in many ways. It seems like there is more to realise and to understand. To belong, in my view, is a gradual process. We slowly get there, one step closer at a time. 

If you are someone who keeps asking similar questions like I do, I wish you all the best in your journey to find a sense of belonging in your adopted home.

Future Direction of the Nepali Community in New Zealand

A version of this article was published in the Saugat magazine, Volume 15, April 2021. Saugat is an annual publication of the New Zealand Nepal Society.

In the nineties, there were a few hundred people of Nepali origin in New Zealand, mostly in urban centres such as Auckland and Christchurch. At present, according to anecdotal estimates, there are around twenty thousand members of the Nepali community residing throughout the country, spread across North and South islands. Within the last five years, thousands have arrived until the early 2021 when migration was halted by the Covid pandemic. The majority of the recent Nepali migrants to New Zealand are young students. With the population growing rapidly, the social dynamics of Nepali community is evolving differently over the recent years. 

The present state of our engagement and participation with the wider New Zealand society

It is observed that there is a strong sense of togetherness and fellowship among the members of Nepali community, driven mainly by our bond and association to homeland. The nature of social activities that the members of Nepali community participate in, and the population we engage with, continue to remain predominantly inward-looking. Majority of events, activities and engagement appears to be within or among the community members. Our engagement and participation with the wider New Zealand society continues to be few and far between. 

For the sake of clarity, Nepali community does participate and engage with the wider New Zealand society. However, the degree, frequency and scale of such wider participation and cross-engagement seems to be nominal. 

As the saying goes, “birds of a feather flock together”, we all tend to prefer to be with like-minded people. When this continues to occur over a long period of time among a larger group, as it has been happening with the Nepali community in New Zealand, this may gradually induce unintended complications and complexities. The extreme case of such social behaviour of engaging “among our own” may inadvertently and gradually lead the community towards a state of social isolation or communal segregation in the long run.

It is only natural, and only a matter of time, that at some point in the future we may see a tipping point with regards to the above-mentioned social characteristics of Nepali community. At that stage, the predominantly inward-looking social behaviour will take a new course. With shifting demographics, new social dynamics will continue to evolve. When this occurs, the community’s ongoing focus will shift towards a different horizon. There is space and valid need to broaden the mode, frequency and level of engagement and participation of Nepali community with the wider New Zealand society.

Connections and achievements of Nepali community in New Zealand

The Nepali-Kiwi connection was forged in 1953 at the top of the world. The first ascent of Mount Everest by Tenzing Norgay and Sir Edmund Hillary and their life-long friendship has a major role in the harmonious companionship of people from our two nations. Sir Ed fondly and regularly attended many events organised by the Nepali community. Lady June gracefully continues to do so. The Tenzing-Hillary connection is a symbol of mutual respect and connection that continues to grow between Nepal and New Zealand. This connection is acknowledged with great pride and joy among both Nepali and Kiwi circles whenever the spheres of the two communities intersect. 

Many people of Nepali origin have achieved great success at various areas such as academics, business and professional practice. For example, there are very well-respected academicians in Universities among us. Some of us are in senior or managerial roles in technical discipline or in other specialist expertise areas. We have a budding number of PhD graduates. Our people own and run successful businesses in various industries such as hospitality and horticulture. Similarly, many members of Nepali community are making a sizable contribution to the lucrative market of the dairy industry in New Zealand.  

It is fair to say that the achievers noted above are only a small sample. Many others who have accomplished varying degrees of success may have chosen to remain silently under the radar. There are two salient features about the above-mentioned Nepali “success story” in New Zealand. Firstly, the success attained is at an individual level. Secondly, we are yet to attain a greater level of achievement in the societal sphere, either individually or as a collective. 

Our community organisations across New Zealand continue to be a vehicle of social cohesion among our community members. They have a range of functions and provide a range of services. Community organisations are a platform for us to come together and interact with each other. One of their most important roles is their ability and willingness to offer us a sense of belonging. Such a sense of acceptance serves as a social anchor to us all. This social support is even more relevant to our newcomers during the challenging stage of initial days after arriving in a new country or during uncertain times such as that seen during the Covid pandemic. 

Nepali community organisations have delivered a range of events and programs by successfully involving a large number of our community members. Such programs tend to be mostly related to our culture and festivals of Nepal. Some events and activities involve promoting and showcasing Nepal and Nepali culture to the wider New Zealand population. More recently, our sport clubs across New Zealand have been successfully delivering an important societal function of building a network among the younger generation in addition to achieving sporting goals. The Nepali community has also made contributions towards philanthropic causes in service of the wider Nepali population based in New Zealand and Nepal.

Members of Nepali community have been able to connect and build good networks with some “influential” Kiwi organisations and individuals. Similar to our individual achievements, these connections and networks, albeit at a limited degree, also seem to be occurring at a personal level rather than that as a collective of Nepali community. We are yet to institutionalise such connections and networks, and utilise such links to help advance our common cause for the greater good of our community.

Where do we go from here?

Have you ever wondered why people of Nepali origin rarely have a noticeable presence in the wider institutions of New Zealand’s social fabric? We don’t seem to actively or frequently participate or contribute as a community outside our own circle or similar interest groups. There is ample space for capable and willing people among us to step up and fill the leadership vacuum to bridge the existing gap between Nepali community and the wider Kiwi society. 

An outward-looking liberal approach towards engagement and participation is the only way forward for our community members to become an integral part of the multicultural social fabric of the New Zealand society. Such an approach will be necessary to ensure that Nepali community’s say matters, and that our interests are well-represented within the wider Kiwi society.  

To achieve outcomes different from the status quo is going to require not only just a tweak here or there but also a paradigm shift in revisiting the role and responsibility of Nepali community within the wider Kiwi society. The community members will have to step out of our comfort zone. Members of our community will need to step up to reach out and interact with other communities and institutions of the wider New Zealand society.

Nepali community can learn from other migrant communities such as those from India, China and the Philippines. Migrant communities from such countries not only are more organised but also have established strong networks, as a collective, within the various facets of wider Kiwi society. A good start for our community can be to reach out to connect and collaborate with these migrant communities. We can learn from their experience about effective and efficient ways of building long-lasting relationships and connections to achieve results that benefit our community at large.

The way forward

It may be years before one of us becomes a member of the Parliament, but what is stopping us from stepping up to be a member of the Board of Trustees of our children’s school? Or run for office of local community boards of local councils of the city we live in? Or make a contribution as an Executive Committee member of social organisations such as “Multicultural New Zealand” or local council’s ethnic bodies? 

The risk of continuing with the status quo of communal and parochial social behaviour is that it is only going to hinder the chances of growth and development of our members and our offsprings; many of whom are born Kiwis. The journey towards a more progressive, liberal and open community starts with self-reflection, both at an individual and collective level. We need to acknowledge that our ongoing activities, actions and attitudes are likely to be inadvertently hindering our ability and chances to advance our common cause. 

Such realisation needs to be followed by actions that seek to proactively drive the common narrative of our community towards being open-minded and welcoming. We need to reach out to build bridges and explore new ideas. We have to seek opportunities to initiate, forge and advance relationships across the entire spectrum of the wider Kiwi society. This will help open up new avenues for our members to actively engage with the wider Kiwi society, and to advance our common cause. 

Three decades ago, Nepali migrant community in New Zealand was a relatively homogenous group of a few hundred concentrated within certain locations. The current context has vastly changed. Now, tens of thousands of us are spread widely across the entire country. We are from a greatly diverse demographic background. Our community continues to grow rapidly and we are ever evolving, adapting and transforming in our adopted home. This process of change is not only a function of our relocation from Nepal, but also a reality of our life’s circumstances through the series of stages we experience after arriving onto the shores of New Zealand. 

In the past, our collective effort was on maintaining contact and building connection among our community members. In the current context, there is a pressing need to venture beyond that primary focus. Whilst we acknowledge and respect our legacy values from the past, going forward, our collective thinking should cater for addressing our current needs and managing our peoples’ future aspirations. Obviously, the status quo is not fit for the future, and in a worst case scenario, a blatant recipe for disaster.

Connecting at a wider level with other communities and various institutions will help us not only identify better opportunities for ourselves, but also enable us to make meaningful contributions towards the wider Kiwi society. Ultimately, such liberal approach of engagement across a spectrum of Kiwi society, will help us advance our collective cause. It is the only way forward to propel our community to new heights.

What does success look like?

If we continue to adopt an inward-looking approach to engagement and participation, our community is most likely to remain under the radar within the wider Kiwi society. On the other hand, should we wish to operate differently and be ambitious, we may achieve a lot in the short, medium and long term. Here are a few examples, in no particular ranking or preference. 

Short and medium term (3-5 years):

• Our collective actions such as cultural events and sports contests are well-attended and duly acknowledged by wider members of  theKiwi society.
• Our community leaders are frequently invited and acknowledged as important guests at major multicultural events such as Diwali and Chinese New Year.
• We are contributing as board members of business organisations, multicultural societies or voluntary organisations. While others are members of the Board of Trustees of our children’s school. 
• A few of us have been acknowledged by the New Zealand government for our outstanding contribution towards the wider Kiwi society.
• We are serving as elected representatives in community bodies such as councils, Health Board and Community Trusts.
• Our players have made it to national and regional contests by playing in squads such as Auckland Diamonds (netball), Wellington Phoenix (football) or Auckland Aces (cricket). 

Long term (7-10 years):

• At least one us has made it to the Beehive as a member of the New Zealand Parliament.
• A few of us have made it as councillors in local councils. 
• Nepal Day is acknowledged and promoted as a major event by Auckland Council and other territorial authorities throughout New Zealand. 
• Our players are representing New Zealand at international levels in teams such as the Silver Ferns, All Whites or Black Caps.
• One of us has been nominated for the coveted award of New Zealander of the Year.

These are only a few examples of our potential should we aspire to be ambitious and to reach new heights. They will come to fruition only through adopting an outward-looking, more liberal and aspirational approach to our engagement, participation and contribution. These could be stepping stones to facilitate a respectable presence in our adopted home.

The choice is ours.